Just because you are old doesn't mean you have to look it...

I little off the subject, but important to looking good under those bar lights for the ladies, I have a few notes on grooming.  Taken from the pages of rejections I've collected over the years here are my top grooming tips:

1)  Don't fool yourself, no matter how young or well groomed, women make fun of you on Match.com if you include a picture with your shirt off.  If you get past third base, she isn't going to care if you don't look like Usher.

2)  Groom often, it's like that lawn you always wanted, it is a constant project.

3)  Clean is important and soaps matter, face soaps and body soaps are incompatible for their objectives.  Face scrubs will keep you from looking like an actual lizard, looking like a lounge lizard is still okay.  Good body soaps are available at Keihls.com and Sephora.com (Anthony makes a good body soap).  Good face soaps are available at Clinique counters or at Sephora.com.

4)  If you shave, upstairs or down - it's really none of my business - use a good product.  I use The Art of Shaving Oil and Cream.  If you are afraid to ask for it, Sephora.com has it.  Also, change your blades regularly.  I find rust on my teenagers blades and freak out.

5)  Nose hair is God's joke and a natural repellent to even wild animals.  You will figure out your own system, but it is gross if it hangs out of the orifice.

6)  Moisturize appropriately for the appropriate areas.  Eyes, forehead, feet and elbows are all different.  Good eye cream:  Strivectin.  Good face cream:  Roth and Caudalie.  All are available at Sephora.com.

7)  Use natural products when available, especially antiperspirant.  Natural antiperspirant will not yellow your shirts.  Again, if you are afraid to ask, go to CVS.com.

8)  Use sunblock and stay out of the sun.  That sex tan is only turning you into leather and a chemo patient.

My metro-sexual post is now over...